


Silent Whispers (Whispers Of Secrets Told)

by Ravenclaw_Peredhel



Series: Star Wars One Shots [5]
Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Also I don't think I'm entirely sane right now, Also about Jedi Apprentice..., Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Anakin Skywalker Has Issues, BAMF Obi-Wan Kenobi, Bandomeer and Melida/Daan, Basically, Because she was knighted at twenty, But we need drama, F/M, Female Obi-Wan Kenobi, Gen, Genderbending, Help, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I am working out my thought processes in the tags, I can't get it out of my head, I changed the flow of time, I couldn't find any good Mace/femObi-Wan fics, I have spawned a huge sprawling AU, I have way too many tags on this fic, I picked what bits I wanted, I think Artemis is going to be a wonderful OC, In this house we stan Mace Windu, Jedi Appreciation (Star Wars), Jedi Culture & Tradition (Star Wars), Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi as Found Family (Star Wars), Like, Mace Windu is So Done, Mace is a softie, Mace is a wonderful person, Obi was born a girl nearly five years earlier than canon, Obi wouldn't be Obi without some good old-fashioned trauma, Obi-Wan Kenobi Gets a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi Has Anxiety, Obi-Wan Kenobi Has Issues, Obi-Wan Kenobi Has PTSD, Obi-Wan is thirty, Padawan Anakin Skywalker, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Possessive Anakin Skywalker, She's also a Master, She's giving me good vibes, So darling Xan happens, So she's had enough time to train Artemis, So..., The Corps are a valid life choice, The Jedi are Nice People, Timeline What Timeline, because, no aging out, oh well, so i wrote one, whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 10:08:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30087498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravenclaw_Peredhel/pseuds/Ravenclaw_Peredhel
Summary: Anakin is happy in the Temple.But something about his master keeps nagging him.He isn't sure what it is exactly.Maybe it's the long conversations she and Mace Windu have? Or the meetings when he's supposed to be at school? He's sure it's boring - the old fart hates him, but Obi-Wan always comes back with her eyes sparkling. Artemis and Feemor are no help, and no one else seems inclined to answer his questions.Yes, there's something very odd going on around here.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Mace Windu
Series: Star Wars One Shots [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2183691
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	Silent Whispers (Whispers Of Secrets Told)

**Author's Note:**

> Obi-Wan is five years older than in canon, and has been a Knight for ten years. In fact, her first Padawan went through the trials a few months before the Naboo mission. So Ani has a sibling. But also, Obi-Wan is a newly minted master at Naboo.

Anakin is very tired when he comes back early from classes that day. He had words and words and words all day, without any practical things to relieve his aching head. The teachers are kind and understanding, but that doesn't make it any easier, and it infuriates him. He is a genius at some things. Why is it so hard for him to learn to read? They ended early in Languages, thank goodness, and he is back an hour before he should be.

He barges through the apartment and flings himself straight into his room and onto his bed, using the Force to close his door behind him. 

The darkness of his face buried in his pillow is a relief to his poor aching head. 

Obi-Wan's voice comes through the wall from her room, saying his name, and he is about to reply, when the rest of what she had said registers. Along with her tone. "...worried about Anakin. He pushes himself so hard, I can barely keep up in some things."

Now, Anakin knows he should never eavesdrop. But he has never heard Obi-Wan sound like that. She sounds...lost.

"You worry too much Benna."

What is Mace Windu doing here? Talking to Anakin's Master no less?

"But what if...what if I'm not enough? He's so bright, so powerful. I've never been anything, what can I offer him? I finished Artemis' training through mere luck. One person...one...just one...out of thousands who benefited from me being in a position of authority over them...children, Mace...little older than him. I...what if I...I...what if it's Melida/Daan all over again? "

A rustle, and a sigh. "You are one of the smartest, most talented Jedi I have ever known. Don't sell yourself short. In the end, Skywalker will be the one trying to catch up to you. You will not fail, not in the slightest."

"I'm not...I can't...don't make him follow me...please. I don't want to ruin him too." With increasingly incredulous ears, Anakin heard what sounded like a stifled sob. 

"You won't Benna. I promise."

"I'm just so scared...all the time, Mace. I can see the Sith around every corner, and every night he joins Xanatos in my dreams. So many ghosts...so many lost souls. I can hear them screaming when I sleep...the Young. Cerasi, and all the others. They were so young...so young...I led them to their deaths. Sometimes I think I can see their blood on my hands."

"If you let me stay with you, just tonight even..."

"No!" Then softer, strained. "No. I...you know how Anakin is. He...he doesn't know you Mace. The Council, he doesn't like authority. I don't want to make him uncomfortable by having the Master of the Order sleeping in the room next door."

"How long are you going to bend over backwards for Skywalker? You can't ignore yourself forever Obi-Wan. Remember what happened after Melida/Daan. Ignoring your own needs just makes it worse."

"I know...it's just until he's settled in, until he's more comfortable. Upsetting him now could be dreadfully traumatic, he's been through so much."

An irritated huff. "If you collapse from sleep deprivation, or Vokara catches you..."

"I know, I know. I'll look after myself, promise."

The conversation continued, but Anakin was suddenly struck by an odd thing. Why was Mace Windu in his master's bedroom?

*******************

Anakin's class went on a trip to the Senate today. He met Padmé again - negotiating with the Senators for Naboo. Or something. He wasn't paying attention, just drinking her face in. 

It was a lovely day.

But when he gets back...

Obi-Wan isn't there. 

The apartment is empty. Artemis isn't even sprawled over the couch or the chairs or clattering in the kitchen. 

Have they left? Do they not want him anymore? His breath starts to come quicker. He is parsecs away from his mother. There is no way he could get back to her.

Wait...there on the table. A piece of flimsy. Yes, that is Obi-Wan's elegant looping script. It takes him a while, but eventually he makes sense of the Basic. 

_Anakin,_

_I've gone to salle 6 to spar for a bit. I should be back before your trip ends, but if not, don't wait for me._

_There's cookies in the floor cupboard, third shelf up. Don't spill the milk if you want any, there's a smaller jug lower down. Please don't lift things with the Force._

_I hope you had a good day dear one._

_Love,_

_Obi-Wan_

He ate the cookies and drank some milk, and then wandered round a bit. It was boring being on his own without Watto's junkyard to poke through. 

After a bit, he decided to go to the salle. Fighting was always interesting. 

Although...it takes seven detours, four retracings of his steps, three complete gettings lost and one accidental knocking into of Master Sifo-Dyas before he finally gets to salle 6.

In big bold Aurebesh, a sign proclaims,

**IN USE**

**DO NOT DISTURB**

He slips inside, opening the door only a tiny crack. 

Inside, Obi-Wan and her opponent are a whirlwind of flapping robes and humming streaks of bright colour - purple and blue. Ugh, Windu again. Hiding behind a stack of crates and deactivated training droids (even if he isn't technically doing anything wrong, he doesn't want to get caught unless absolutely necessary) he settles in to watch the fight. 

Obi-Wan specializes in Soresu - which is calculating and defensive and graceful. She makes it look like a dance, in a way that Anakin's stumbling katas cannot. Mace Windu, much as he and Anakin have a mutual distaste for the other, literally created Vaapad. It fits him down to the bone, and Anakin always thinks of the desert storms on Tattoine whenever he sees it in use. 

Together, the two are a spellbinding blur of movement, and Anakin watches with wide eyes as the two Masters spar. 

He is a little annoyed though. Obi-Wan left him with Artemis for a whole week! And now, only a few days after she comes back, she's gone again! Admittedly only to spar while he is at school, but his mother always knew when he'd be home early. Why can't Obi-Wan?

In retaliation, he's been giving her the silent treatment all week. 

She deserves it. Just wandering off without telling him all the time. 

Obi-Wan stumbles suddenly, her hand flying to her chest as she takes in great hacking gasps of air. "Obi-Wan!" Windu's lightsaber flicks off and he manages to catch her as she falls from the catwalk they had jumped onto in the course of the spar. 

Anakin barely stops himself from shrieking a warning as the two plummet to the ground. Neither slave nor a Jedi can afford to give themselves away. Plus, he doesn't want to get told off. And he doesn't like Windu. 

Did he mention that?

"I'm fine." Even Anakin knows that she isn't. His irritation with his Master is gone in a flash of concern. "I'm perfectly alright Mace, you don't have to fuss over me."

Windu doesn't reply for a second, and when he does his voice is very low...kinda like how Anakin's mom sounded when they found that dead slave in the Jundland Wastes a while back. "I'm not fussing Benna. You nearly died, and then refuse to even tell Skywalker why you were away for a whole fripping week."

"I didn't want to worry him."

"You had some of the worse smoke inhalation damage Master Che has ever seen, and you walk it off after a week. That's not how it works! Someday, you're going to get yourself badly hurt, and you won't be able to walk away from it."

"Oh, so because I'm female, I'm delicate?" Obi-Wan pushes herself away from him, blue eyes flashing.

"No, because you are reckless and self-sacrificing, you could do horrible damage to yourself."

"I'm not a piece of glass Mace! I can take care of myself."

"I'm not saying that you're kriffing fragile! I'm saying that you nearly kill yourself every Taungsday, and then try to walk it off! At least go to Master Che for your checkups or something."

"Just because you're older and higher up in the Order, does not mean you can control me!" They're nose to nose by this point, yelling at each other. Anakin starts quietly slipping out. Maybe this was a bad idea...

"I don't want to control you Obi-Wan Kenobi! I just want you to kriffing take care of yourself."

Anakin is out of the door by this point, so the noise of Obi-Wan's retort is lost. 

Yep, he should not have gone to watch.

That was a very bad idea.

Arguing adults always makes him scared. It usually meant a beating, or even getting sold again. 

***********************

Artemis picks him up from classes. 

"Master Obi-Wan is cooking for her friends, so I'm to take you to the hangar and tinker with ships with you."

They do for a while, and Anakin has more fun than he has in ages!

Then the mechanics kick them out - an Agricorps ship is landing, and they don't want random people there to get in the way.

So they head back to the apartment. Artemis seems remarkably pleased by this - her lekku are twitching and curling in a way Anakin has already learned means mischief.

"Umm...I'm not supposed to bring you back so early. Obi-Wan won't be pleased, so...it's your fault. She won't yell at you."

Anakin rolls his eyes at her. She can be so annoying sometimes. 

The door opens, and there is a scuffling sound in the kitchen, along with what sounds like whispers, before Obi-Wan comes out with flushed cheeks and dishevelled hair. "Cooking something hot Master?" Artemis asks...and...the statement seems perfectly innocuous. But there seems to be another meaning to it, a dig at Obi-Wan. Anakin can't figure for the life of him what it is.

"Yes, in fact I am. Tiingilar, if you want to stay and eat with your Master's boring old friends."

Artemis whines, and Obi-Wan talks them in circles, and Anakin completely forgets to be suspicious as they are drawn into the living room, out of the hall. He doesn't even hear the door open and close, as Mace Windu sneaks out, though Artemis giggles and Obi-Wan frowns at her. 

*********************

So, on and on, for Anakin's first year of Jedi training, Mace Windu shows up in the randomest places. Night time conversations when Anakin is supposed to be asleep, long sparring matches, large dinners with friends, group outings into Coruscant, joining him and Obi-Wan for Dex's, even just running into them in the halls. 

Gradually, as time passes, Anakin's animosity abates, and he discovers that actually, Mace Windu is quite a nice guy. 

He is never sure when exactly he realises the exact nature of the relationship between his Master and the other Jedi. 

But when he looks back on that first year from the perspective of a fully mature Jedi...he is grateful for the half-truths and little deceptions Obi-Wan spun during that tumultuous time. 

Perhaps, if he had discovered the ruse at the time, he would have been betrayed and angry, but with the benefit of hindsight? He understands why she took those actions. For a child fresh out of slavery, his guardian being in a relationship with the very man who had been against his life here (and now he understands why Mace acted so, and he cannot help but admit he would to that same) would have screwed him over so badly. 

Obi-Wan sacrificed so much for him in that year, he realises. She cannot sleep through the night without Mace at her side to keep the demons of her past away, his presence by her side keeps her grounded in the present, as hers does him. 

They need each other, relying on the other to keep away the demons that haunt them in the night. 

And she gave it up for him. 

Anakin could never be angry with Obi-Wan for such a choice.

Not when she sacrificed her very sanity for it.

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, that was a weirdass piece of shit I pulled outta thin air in like half an hour.


End file.
